Blauntd

Item #: SCP-001

Object Class: Haram

Special Containment Procedures
SCP-001 is to be given complete access to the internet through any personal device it currently owns. Contingent Alphura, the masking of Site-62 as the city of ███████, California is to be upheld. Under no circumstances shall SCP-001 be kept away from devices capable of internet connectivity for more than █ days.

Early Life
Blauntd was born. Shortly afterwards, he met Xplodingtaco, who then had not yet metamorphosed into an ARMYMAN V2.0. Many years later, he joined up with the Artemis Gaming Community, lead by Panda and Nov.

Career
Blauntd is isn't the founder of Artemis, the now defunct gaming community that split into the constantly warring factions of gamers. A couple hours years later, the Productive Gamers formed as a loose coalition of gamers that woke up early and played Shellshock Live. Some of these early members include MentalUnicorn, Krores, Blauntd, and Mushu.

Sometime in the early 21st century, the Mesopotamian goddess of sensuality and voluptuousness granted Blauntd an avatar to travel the in-between known as Sex Constantine. It is unknown how he evokes the powers of this avatar.

Death
[REDACTED]

Controversy
Blauntd added the Mewna bot to the Productive Gamers, this lead to the the Fish/Crime/Mine game mode. This marked the least productive time for the Productive Gamers.

Panda and Blauntd were both participants of the Game of Life. Blauntd had gotten Panda to say the word and Panda refused to do his pushups. What resulted is the ceasefire that still persists to this day.

Blauntd spends very little of his time as a Warden main. This pits him against MentalUnicorn, a known coward, who refuses to 1v1 him.

Addendum - "Recurring Gags"
SCP-001 is known to vocalize infrequently, locomotion is rarer still. Its reduced mental state due to Contingent Alphura has limited it to these simple phrases and actions:
 * [Slams hand on desk over and over again]
 * "Headass. Head. Ass."
 * "Add that to The Wiki!"
 * "For real, for real."
 * "Idiot."
 * "I'm Sex Constantine!"
 * "My name is Sex Constantine. You killed my boner. Prepare to die."

Trivia

 * Has a penis piercing.
 * Created both the original public Artemis Discord and the private Productive Gamers Discord.
 * Created the Artemis cursed logo.
 * Cannot hear out of his left ear.
 * Mains Warden, Thermite/Rook, Demoman/Engineer, and Reinhardt/D.Va
 * Likes swords
 * Owns harem pants
 * Last known location: Horse Mountain